Monday, May 31, 2010

I told you I love you.

The weird part about it is that it felt so natural. We both understand exactly what kind of love it is, and that makes me feel so much better about saying it. Everything just feels so right with you. Like, being with you is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

And I'll be leaving in a few weeks. :/

Why did something so great have to start at such a late time? I'm finally happy again, and now it's all about to change. I want this to work. I really, REALLY do. I just hope we're both strong enough to hold on until I come back. I hate that I'm going to be putting you through the hell that comes along with a long distance relationship. I'm sorry. :(

Friday, May 21, 2010

James,

I really hope you thought this all the way through. I can't stress enough how hard a long distance relationship is. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy that you actually want to date me, but I just don't want to hurt you.

I really hope this turns out okay.

Friday, May 14, 2010

This last week...

...has been one giant emotional rollercoaster. I've been happy, angry, upset, confused, insecure, confident, and everything else in between.

The Every 15 Minutes program made a huge impact on me. Of 16 students that "died", I personally knew 12 of them. One of which was one of my best friends, and another was someone that is guaranteed to make me smile and laugh on a daily basis. When I saw them get taken away, I just couldn't handle it. I missed them so much. The car crash scenario wasn't easy for me either. It reminded me of Timmy. Oh, and the flatline playing every 15 minutes was nothing short of devastating. I couldn't help but relive the memories of seeing John in the hospital bed.

Today was the funeral. It was so sad and moving. I haven't cried that much in months. When it was over, and immediately went to Emma and Aaron and gave them a hug. I love them so much, and I don't ever want to lose them again. Even if it was only for 24 hours.

In the last week, I've come to realize:
- Forgiving yourself and others for past mistakes is the first step to happiness.
- The drama and stupid fights aren't worth it.
- I take the time I have with the people I love for granted.
- I'm getting closer and closer to finding myself.

Basically, I appreciate life and my loved ones so much more. It troubles me how much I took that time for granted, but that's all going to change.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Soooo

The concert was fucking amazing. Seriously, it was one of the best concerts of my life. Cavo was really good, so now I absolutely HAVE to put them on my iPod. Oh, and Lifehouse made me fall in love with them all over again. :D

So far, this trip to San jose definitely hasn't been the worst I've ever endured. Then again, I'm only here for a few days. I miss home. I can't wait to come back and see all my friends again. :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Hey.

Listen to me.

I don't care if you're a size 6/8, you WILL fit into that size 5 dress. He already has a date to prom, so you need to make sure you look better than her. You know he likes you, so now you need to make sure she knows it too.

You got this.
:D